<3 asked:


1
As deviously as I could pull off without going over the top, I laughed. “So many people,” I paused, taking my time, “They think they can do anything they want. They think that they’re the only ones on Earth trying to do this.” My voice bellowed off the walls in echoes, the sound waves traveling around the room at lightning speed. Again I laughed, “So depressing. For them, that is.”
As most do, the man cocked his head in confusion, and before he had a chance to speak, I read his lips. “It’s always the same, too. Who are you? Where is your voice even coming from? Get away from me, freak! You know how things can get pretty boring after a while, right? So do me a favor, and let’s just skip that part.” It surprises me how well of an actor I can be. It really does. I’m not really this cool around most people, I’m usually struggling for the right words to say, but when you do things like this everyday, you get pretty good at it. Especially since a lot of times it’s dealing with people you don’t even know.
The limb I had been sitting on, which held up most of the structure of the small jewelry shop, was made of a smooth mahogany wood, and was the size of a log in the woods that had fallen from a tree. I jumped down from it, his back facing me. He turned around, probably more surprised than startled at the loud clack of my boots on the tile floor. I smirked at him, and knowingly began, “You can just empty that bag right there onto the ground, and get out of here. Or, I can handle you myself. It’s your choice.” His hand trembled as he looked down into the bag of jewelry in his hands. He didn’t move, but it may have been out of shock. I pulled out a lighter from my back leather pocket, but stopped as my hand floated over the lever, “Wait a second,” I laughed, pretending to have forgotten, “I don’t need this.” I placed it securely in my back pocket, put one hand on my hip, and stuck my other hand out with my palm up.
A small flame licked my fingertip, but didn’t burn it. It obviously intimidated him as it flickered in front of his now flushing face. His eyes widened. I traced a gulp slip down his throat. His lips weren’t moving at all; in fact they were frozen in a thin, straight line. “It’s your choice,” I repeated. He looked me from my head, to my toes, particularly stopping at the flames that now engulfed my finger. But again, it didn’t burn the least bit. See, you can’t really say I’m like every other human. He turned his head hesitantly, not taking his eyes off me, and called out his friend’s name.
He was now slowly walking out the entryway to an extension of the building where they stocked some of their jewelry, screaming, “What? What’s your problem, man?” He got one glance of me, and I smiled pleasantly at him. He dropped his brown ripped up sack to the ground, started heading for the exit, followed by the other man who had done the same thing. “Nice meeting you!” I shouted innocently at them.
When the front glass doors were shut and those creeps were gone, I wringed my hand out in the air to put out the flame on my fingertip. Letting out a deep breath, I ran and grabbed both bags. They were dirty and gross, but they were also full. As fast as I could, I put the expensive jewelry, made of diamonds, jewels, and thing I only dreamed of owning, back in their spots as close to perfectly, and gently shut the top of the heavy glass case they were displayed in. Luckily the men hadn’t shattered it, and nothing was broken. Entering the extension, I returned the other jewelry to where it belonged.
Carefully and quickly I grabbed my long, plaid trench coat from where I had dropped it when I walked in. It covered my leather outfit, making me look somewhat more normal. I pulled my beret from its pocket, pulled it over my head, and casually pushed open the doors that lead outside.
Dawn had long before ate its last bites of daylight and now ruled the night sky like an invading army. The second I stepped onto the sidewalk the crisp breeze tackled me. My footsteps were faint, the only things lighting the sidewalk were cheap streetlights.

Marina asked:


( This is the middle of my novel DO NOT correct the grammer )

I looked out to the ocean the waves made a low sound as the summer breeze gave me slight goose bumps. “Come on, I want to show you something” Cecil said in a excited voice he took my hand and leaded me in silence to the deserted part of the beach in silence, that was the cue to let me know that the day I had spent with Cecil would either be complete or be a total fail. The water hit my ankles as he stopped and turned to me. “Crystal I had let you down before I had let everything happen to you that I swore on myself would never happen to you as long as I was around.” His eyes were soft as if he was about to tear himself, something I think I would be afraid to see him do it wouldn’t be in his character. “The times that you had been hurt had made me less of a man then you could ever imagine” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small ring I couldn’t speak at the least breathe. I couldn’t do this; before I opened my mouth I saw that marriage wasn’t his objective. “This is to show you that I will always be right behind you whenever you want me Crystal I always want to be there for you I am truly sorry but” he bit his lip as if checking if the words he spoke were what he wanted to say, I guess even perfection in my view could have its mistakes. “I won’t let Bret or anyone else take you away from me.” He took my hand gently I was trying to not shake from the sudden felling of being someone’s need not just someone that was another person’s want. He slipped the ring on slowly like he was afraid I would reject it. I moved my hand slowly from his not sure how to react to this. Just act natural I said to myself afraid I would do something unexpected, well that wouldn’t be bad since Cecil wasn’t exactly the kind of guy you would find anywhere I was sure he liked verity but I would do something that would make me look like a idiot. I looked at the ring it seemed to be old there was a fine line of rust around the diamond that was the point of the ring, and then Cecil said something I didn’t expect. “There is another reason I gave you this ring” he started “if you can break that diamond with bare hands I will stop loving you.” He put his arms around me as I melted into them listening to the heartbeat that was the usually shallow kind Cecil always had I was sure he felt the great difference as he could fell mine, there wasn’t a inch to spare between us.

<3 asked:


1
As deviously as I could pull off without going over the top, I laughed. “So many people,” I paused, taking my time, “They think they can do anything they want. They think that they’re the only ones on Earth trying to do this.” My voice bellowed off the walls in echoes, the sound waves traveling around the room at lightning speed. Again I laughed, “So depressing. For them, that is.”
As most do, the man cocked his head in confusion, and before he had a chance to speak, I read his lips. “It’s always the same, too. Who are you? Where is your voice even coming from? Get away from me, freak! You know how things can get pretty boring after a while, right? So do me a favor, and let’s just skip that part.” It surprises me how well of an actor I can be. It really does. I’m not really this cool around most people, I’m usually struggling for the right words to say, but when you do things like this everyday, you get pretty good at it. Especially since a lot of times it’s dealing with people you don’t even know.
The limb I had been sitting on, which held up most of the structure of the small jewelry shop, was made of a smooth mahogany wood, and was the size of a log in the woods that had fallen from a tree. I jumped down from it, his back facing me. He turned around, probably more surprised than startled at the loud clack of my boots on the tile floor. I smirked at him, and knowingly began, “You can just empty that bag right there onto the ground, and get out of here. Or, I can handle you myself. It’s your choice.” His hand trembled as he looked down into the bag of jewelry he was regretfully grasping onto. He didn’t move, but it may have been out of shock. I pulled out a lighter from my back leather pocket, but stopped as my hand floated over the lever, “Wait a second,” I laughed innocently, pretending to have forgotten, “I don’t need this.” I placed it securely in my back pocket, put one hand on my hip, and stuck my other hand out with my palm up.
A small flame licked my fingertip, but didn’t burn it. It obviously intimidated him as it flickered in front of his now flushing face. His eyes widened. I traced a gulp slip down his throat. His lips weren’t moving at all; in fact they were frozen in a thin, straight line. “It’s your choice,” I repeated. He looked me from my head, to my toes, particularly stopping at the flames that now engulfed my finger. But again, it didn’t burn the least bit. See, you can’t really say I’m like every other human. He turned his head hesitantly, not taking his eyes off me, and called out his friend’s name.
He was now slowly walking out the entryway to an extension of the building where they stocked some of their jewelry, screaming, “What? What’s your problem, man?” He got one glance of me, and I smiled pleasantly at him. He dropped his brown ripped up sack to the ground, started heading for the exit, followed by the other man who had done the same thing. “Nice meeting you!” I shouted innocently at them.
When the front glass doors were shut and those creeps were gone, I wringed my hand out in the air to put out the flame on my fingertip. Letting out a deep breath, I ran and grabbed both bags. They were dirty and gross, but they were also full. As fast as I could, I put the expensive jewelry, made of diamonds, jewels, and thing I only dreamed of owning, back in their spots as close to perfectly, and gently shut the top of the heavy glass case they were displayed in. Luckily the men hadn’t shattered it, and nothing was broken. Entering the extension, I returned the other jewelry to where it belonged.
Carefully and quickly I grabbed my long, plaid trench coat from where I had dropped it when I walked in. It covered my leather outfit, making me look somewhat more normal. I pulled my beret from its pocket, pulled it over my head, and casually pushed open the doors that lead outside.
Dawn had long before ate its last bites of daylight and now ruled the night sky like an invading army. The second I stepped onto the sidewalk the crisp breeze tackled me; and my heels created the faintest echo full of emptiness and glowing shallowness. I tightly crossed my arms over my chest holding together either side of my trench.
It wasn’t a long walk home of crossing abandon back roads and parking lots, silent and lonely, to find my roommate sprawled across the couch, the TV loud, an empty bag of potato chips on her chest. She sprouted up when she heard the door swing open. Her hair was a mess of tangles and knots,

Lottie asked:


Okay this essay is completely a fictional piece made up from my own mind, well actually the assignment was for us to take a not so good essay (based on true events) and make it better, so here’s what I have:

The sun reflected off the cobalt blue paint of my new sports car. It was one of those days that you sang to the radio, content with the world for once. As I sat in my car, debating on what my boss would say if I were to take the day off, a young couple across the street caught my attention. They sat at one of those outdoor cafes. Soon they stood, revealing designer clothes that suited the handsome couple. One could clearly tell that they were deeply in love. I saw the woman reach up to caress the mans face, the sun glinted off her diamond ring. Newlyweds, I assumed with a smile. The woman leaned forward and gave the man a kiss. She turned and took a step off the sidewalk, it was that one fateful step that could have changed everything.
At that exact moment that the woman took that step I heard a dull roar coming from the west. I turned my head to see a brown, non descript car speeding down the street. The driver was oblivious to the change of the light from yellow to red. I did not need to be clairvoyant to know what would happen next. I found myself scrambling out of my car, fearful for the woman. The husband, having seen the speeding car as well, wore a mask of horror. He found his voice before I could find mine. He shouted a warning and took a step to try and save the woman. Another onlooker pulled him back just as the woman turned back to him; just as the car hit her.
To this day I can still hear the mans anguished shout. I can still see him running to the broken body in the street. It was not until later that I realized I had called 9-1-1. I, like so many others just watched as the man cried over his wifes dead body.
Vaguely I remember hearing sirens, I remember giving my statement to the police. I watched as the pulled the driver from the car, and soon my curiosity turned to disgust as I realized that the man was completely inebriated. It was quite obvious that this was not the first time the man had done this. The police later confirmed my suspicion.
I could not help but realize how easily this all could have been avoided. Maybe if the man and woman would have lingered over coffee she would still be alive. Or if someone had taken the keys from the drunk man, the husband would not be grieving over his dead wifes body in the street, his wifes kiss still warm on his cheek.
My experience has shown me how relaxed we have become on drunk driving. Perhaps if my experience were shared by others we would try harder to prevent accidents such as this one.
Although it is a sad truth that tragedies such as this one has to happen before the public takes notice.

Sisquo asked:


~Prologue~

The burly young man rose from his seated position. He eyed the scintillating chessboard and wondered which piece to move next. It was becoming more and more obvious to him that he was going to lose the game. Keeping one good eye on his opponent, he brushed his thick fingers through his dark silky hair and then reached for a rook with his other hand. He moved his chess piece that had been fashioned out of gold and encrusted with diamonds. He grunted out of frustration.
The young man seated before him in an office chair was me. I, in turn, moved my rook.
“Check,” I declared with a wry smile painted across my usually intense face.
“I’ve never really liked this game you know,” said the standing man, his skin reddened by the warm sun outside.
“Play your next move Chris,” I said to him. He was Christopher Cruez, a renowned business mogul and close friend of mine. He was a good 2, 5 metres tall; casting a giant shadow over the diamond encrusted chessboard that lay on the dark Oakwood coffee table. Christopher was heir to the Cruez fortune. Soon he would inherit from his father - Vincent Cruez - a six-billion dollar company and two billion dollars worth of stocks and other financial assets. However, Christopher, in his personal capacity, was a Rand-billionaire.
I sat before him waiting for him to execute his final move before I put him in checkmate.
“And that’s because I’ve never understood it. I’m not a strategist…” he replied in his own defence, fixing his purple Turnbul and Asser tie.
“My dear friend,” I started, eyeing him from my seated position in my office chair. “Chess is like life. You have to have contingencies for every unplanned occurrence. You have to be on the ball, think ahead!” I said coolly.
“Blah, blah, blah! I’m a self-made billionaire for goodness sake. I think I understand life pretty well.” Christopher sat down and poured himself some sweet white wine. Drinking the wine proved to be a difficult task for him as his thick fingers failed to grasp the neck of the glass wine properly. So he opted to make use of a tumbler instead.
“That point is arguable,” I retorted with a grin.
Chris rolled his eyes.
The clear sunlight filtered through the white lace curtain and illuminated the wooden walls of the normally dark office. The calming sounds of the sea water lapping outside made me think on the new friends I had made in the last few months. Some of them were basking in the glory of the sun outside. I could never understand how people could lay in the sun’s full glare and enjoy it. I thought on them momentarily then cast the memory aside and poured myself a glass of the wine.
I sipped the wine to get a feel for it. It was sweet and quite fortified; a colourful collusion of pristine pinotage and savoury sauvignon. Truly, I thought, it was nurtured to perfection.
I admired my office; it was exactly how I had wanted it to be. Decorating the spacious office had been an easy task for me; I wanted it to resound of my personality. Large original masterpiece paintings adorned the bright walls. Having painted each one myself, I found a fond memory in each one of them. Every one of them was reminiscent of a specific time in my life, I thought on some of those times briefly.
Japan.
Fond memories of the time I spent in that country bounded into my mind. The wonderful people I had left behind: Sui Lee, Man Ting; they were good friends and business partners.
“Are you thinking about the good old days?” Chris asked taking a sip of wine from the glass tumbler, his stubby fingers now wrapped comfortably around the drinking-glass.
“Yes,” I replied, putting aside my serendipitous memories.
“You know,” began Chris,” it should actually go down in history.”
I stared back at him quizzically.
“Don’t you think so?” Chris gulped down the last of the wine in his glass.
“I’m not sure I understand you,” I said looking at my friend, eyes wide.
“Everything we had to do to get here… To get where we are right now! Sibusiso,” he exclaimed excitedly, “why don’t you write another novel… Except this one won’t be about fictional characters… It’ll be about us!”
I considered it and sighed thoughtfully. It was obviously a way for Chris to get out of losing another game of chess to me, but it was a good idea nonetheless.
“You’re a genius,” I told him before swinging round in my swivelling office chair.
“I know I am,” Chris said grinning.
“But we’re still going to finish our game of chess!” I declared. Then I pulled my laptop closer, opened a word-processing program and began frantically typing away. I wondered what the first chapter would be called. Where I would begin the story? Then it struck me: “Putrid Plots”
The excerpt is simply the prologue. The story itself I have almost completed.
Thank you to those who gave constructive critism. It is highly appreciated.

I will make the necessary changes. Your concerns and encouragement is appreciated too.

The book, however was perused by an editor of a reknowned publishing company in the UK. Her take was similar to the feedback I received from the respondents below who are actually writers themselves.

Your input is invaluable.

~Sisquo~

<3 asked:


As deviously as I could pull off without going over the top, I laughed. “So many people,” I paused, taking my time, “They think they can do anything they want. They think that they’re the only ones on Earth trying to do this.” My voice bellowed off the walls in echoes, the sound waves traveling around the room at lightning speed. Again I laughed, “So depressing. For them, that is.”
As most do, the man cocked his head in confusion, and before he had a chance to speak, I read his lips. “It’s always the same, too. Who are you? Where is your voice even coming from? Get away from me, freak! You know how things can get pretty boring after a while, right? So do me a favor, and let’s just skip that part.” It surprises me how well of an actor I can be. It really does. I’m not really this cool around most people, I’m usually struggling for the right words to say, but when you do things like this everyday, you get pretty good at it. Especially since a lot of times it’s dealing with people you don’t even know.
The limb I had been sitting on, which held up most of the structure of the small jewelry shop, was made of a smooth mahogany wood, and was the size of a log in the woods that had fallen from a tree. I jumped down from it, the tall man’s back facing me. He turned around, probably more surprised than startled at the loud clack of my boots on the tile floor. I smirked at him, and knowingly began, “You can just empty that bag right there onto the ground, and get out of here. Or, I can handle you myself. It’s your choice.” His hand trembled as he looked down into the bag of jewelry he was regretfully grasping onto. He didn’t move. I pulled out a lighter from my back leather pocket, but stopped as my hand floated over the lever, “Wait a second,” I laughed innocently, pretending to have forgotten, “I don’t need this.” I placed it securely in my back pocket, put one hand on my hip, and stuck my other hand out with my palm up.
A small flame licked my fingertip, but didn’t burn it. It obviously intimidated him as it flickered in front of his now flushing face. His eyes widened. I traced a gulp slip down his throat. His lips weren’t moving at all; in fact they were frozen in a thin, straight line. “It’s your choice,” I repeated. He looked me from my head, to my toes, particularly stopping at the flames that now engulfed my finger. But again, it didn’t burn the least bit. See, you can’t really say I’m like every other human. He turned his head hesitantly, not taking his eyes off me, and called out his friend’s name.
He was now slowly walking out the entryway to an extension of the building where they stocked some of their jewelry, screaming, “What? What’s your problem, man?” He got one glance of me, and I smiled pleasantly at him. He dropped his brown ripped up sack to the ground, started heading for the exit, followed by the tall man who had done the same thing. “Nice meeting you!” I shouted innocently at them.
When they had made their way down towards traffic, I wringed my hand out in the air to put out the flame on my fingertip. Letting out a deep breath, I ran and grabbed both bags. They were dirty and gross, but they were also full. As fast as I could, I put the expensive jewelry, made of diamonds, jewels, and everything I only dreamed of owning, back in their spots as close to perfectly, and gently shut the top of the heavy glass case they were displayed in. Luckily the men hadn’t shattered it, and nothing was broken. Entering the extension, I returned the other jewelry to where it belonged.
Carefully and quickly I grabbed my long, plaid trench coat from where I had dropped it when I walked in. It covered my leather outfit, making me look somewhat more normal. I pulled my beret from its pocket, pulled it over my head, and casually pushed open the doors that lead outside.
Dawn had long before ate its last bites of daylight and now ruled the night sky like an invading army. The second I stepped onto the sidewalk the crisp breeze tackled me; and my heels created the faintest echo full of emptiness and glowing shallowness. I tightly crossed my arms over my chest holding together either side of my trench.
It wasn’t a long walk home of crossing abandon back roads and parking lots, silent and lonely, to find my roommate sprawled across the couch, the TV loud, an empty bag of potato chips on her chest.
where the stars are it’s meant to say “turned”. can u think of a better word?