Joke - about a monk?

December 12th, 2010 by admin | 7 Comments | Filed in Jokes & Riddles
O-ren-i-shi-i asked:


A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car.

As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound not like anything he’s ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn’t sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a Seductive sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

Distraught, the man is forced to leave.

Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.

The monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man says, “If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk.”

The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find the answers, you! will have become a monk.”

The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.

“I have travelled the earth and have found what you have asked for: by design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you Ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception.”

The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sound.”

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is beyond that door”

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door Is another door made of stone.

The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, gold and diamond.

Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.”

The man is apprehensive to no end. His life’s wish is behind the door!

He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is utterly amazed to find the source of that haunting and seductive sound………..

But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

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i wrote this.what do you think?

December 2nd, 2010 by admin | 3 Comments | Filed in Books & Authors
:-) asked:


The bells tied to the glass door jingled as Rob entered, a gust of wind and powdery snow following behind him. It was well below freezing outside. Christmas lights and countless decorations lit up the New York City streets, overpowering the harsh winter with the warm, fuzzy glow of Christmas spirit. Families shopped for gifts, crowding the sidewalks. Salesmen, eager to sell their products, bombarded the city with store windows elegantly decorated with toys and clothes.
“Good evening, Sir.” The man greeting customers stood next to the door in a crisp suit, standing to the side as the cold air blew through. Rob nodded as he walked by. Rows and rows of glass counters displayed sparkling diamonds and jewels. The sound of chatter amongst the men and women behind the counters and customers filled the store, and as he breathed in deeply he could smell fresh paint. He looked around aimlessly as he was overcome by all that surrounded him. Right away, a second salesman came up to greet him, wearing a perfectly ironed white collared shirt and red tie, arms crossed behind his back.
“Are you looking for anything in particular, Sir?”
He had a softness in his eyes, and it made Rob comfortabe.
Rob quickly unraveled his gray, tattered scarf from around his neck as he looked up to answer the man. “An engagement ring.” following his words, he felt his mouth grow into a big silly grin.
The man kindly smiled, closing his eyes for a few seconds. Rob took off his winter coat and allowed the man to lead him to a few rows of the sparkling diamonds. He walked behind the counter and took out a ring of keys, routinely finding the correct one in a flash. He unlocked the case and then stopped to shake Robs hand. “Thomas,” he said, with a welcoming smile.
“Rob.” Rob answered back modestly. He was pleased that his young age didn’t make the salesman take him less seriously.
“Okay, sir. This is our newest collection, by Richard Soleil. Many come with a red firestone, a gem only found in West India as of this day. They are typically lined with diamonds on the outside, with a center-cut…” As the man spoke, Robs eyes were captured by a glittering purple, oval shaped diamond, lined with small white diamonds on the outside, the band a beautiful shiny silver. It seemed to stand out against the rest, and Robs eyes were locked onto it. “How much for the purple one?” He asked eagerly, not even realizing how badly he interrupted the man. Thomas paused for a second before answering.
“Uh.. Oh, the Amethyst.” He reached inside and pulled it out, his shirt covered in the rainbow lights and sparkles caused from the glow of the diamond.
Rob knew that he had found the ring he came for. The purple glitter of the Amethyst had caught his eye the same way the sparkle in Aries’s eye had on the day he first saw her.
He thought about the first day he met her. They were at a Christmas party almost exactly a year earlier, it was being held for Ted’s Aluminum and Scrap Yard, where Rob worked. He later found out that Arie was there for a date with his co-worker Dan Brown. All through dinner, Rob couldn’t help but stare. Sitting two tables in front of her, she caught him turning his head around to see her every couple minutes. Upon noticing, she discretely waved back.
Awestruck, Rob gave her a wave in return.
Arie, she mouthed to him from across the room. Her date was caught up in a story with the friends next to him, and didn’t seem to notice what was going on.
Rob, he said back smiling.
She held up her glass of wine and they made a toast to eachother from a distance.
After dinner music came on and soon people were leaving their tables to go dance. Rob and Arie stayed in their seats, still smiling at eachother. When everybody had left, Rob walked up to her smiling. “Would you like to dance?” he asked.
“I would love to.” She responded, holding out her hand for him.
From that day on, they fell in love more and more.
Not long after that, they were inseperable. They laughed and cried together. She knew everything about him, as he did her.
***
Robs mind continued to wander as Thomas went to the register to check the price on the ring.
He remembered laying in his bed with her, in his run down apartment. It was past noon, and the two were still cuddled up beneath a pile of blankets. The room was a mess. There were plenty of things that needed to get done, but neither of them cared. They had eachother and that was all that mattered. He was laying on top of her, and they had their foreheads pressed together gently. They were holding hands on both sides, laughing uncontrollably. It was pouring rain outside. Ariess’ smile lessened. “What made you love me, the day we met?”
Rob shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know.”
“Was it my beautiful body?” She said laughing, smoothing her hand from her chest to her hips.
Rob laughed, shrugging his shoulders again. “I just love you.”
“Was it my.. Stunning personality?” She flashed him a smile, posing sweetly.

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Random question about Merging sayings?

November 14th, 2010 by admin | 1 Comment | Filed in Jokes & Riddles
Jimmy W asked:


If dogs are a man’s best friend..
And diamonds are a girl’s best friend..
Does that mean everybody loves a dog wearing diamonds?
*Or does the dog need to be made out of diamonds?

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How is this romantic part of my story 10 points comments are best?

November 8th, 2010 by admin | 2 Comments | Filed in Books & Authors
Marina asked:


I looked out to the ocean the waves made a low sound as the summer breeze gave me slight goose bumps. “Come on, I want to show you something” Cecil said as he brushed his fingers through his dark hair and took my hand and leaded me in silence that was the cue to let me know that the day I had spent with Cecil would either be complete or be a total failure. The water hit my ankles as he stopped and turned to me. “Crystal I had let you down before I had let everything happen to you that I swore on myself would never happen to you as long as I was around.” His eyes were soft as if he was about to tear himself, something I think I would be afraid to see him do it wouldn’t be in his character.

“The times that you had been hurt had made me less of a man then you could ever imagine” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small ring I couldn’t speak at the least breathe. I couldn’t do this; before I opened my mouth I saw that marriage wasn’t his objective. “This is to show you that I will always be right behind you whenever you want me Crystal I always want to be there for you I am truly sorry but” he bit his lip as if checking if the words he spoke were what he wanted to say, I guess even perfection in my view could have its mistakes. “I won’t let Bret or anyone else take you away from me.” He took my hand gently I was trying to not shake from the sudden felling of being someone’s need not just someone that was another person’s want. He slipped the ring on slowly like he was afraid I would reject it. I moved my hand slowly from his not sure how to react to this.

Just act natural I said to myself afraid I would do something unexpected, well that wouldn’t be bad since Cecil wasn’t exactly the kind of guy you would find anywhere I was sure he liked verity but I would do something that would make me look like a idiot.

I looked at the ring it seemed to be old there was a fine line of rust around the diamond that was the point of the ring, and then Cecil said something I didn’t expect. “There is another reason I gave you this ring” he started “if you can break that diamond with bare hands I will stop loving you.” He put his arms around me as I melted into them listening to the heartbeat that was the usually shallow kind Cecil always had I was sure he felt the great difference as he could fell mine, there wasn’t a inch to spare between us.

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how much would this go for?

October 3rd, 2010 by admin | 1 Comment | Filed in Languages
Portlynn asked:


Your Question
How much money would i get for a gold/diamond brooch about 14k go for?

i have a brooch made out of gold and diamonds and it is about the size of one man thumb together and its about four quarters thick thanks:)) oh and i dont know if its 14k or not so could you give me that size ex: 14k 10k 2k

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What do you think of my story so far? Editing would help too?

September 27th, 2010 by admin | 1 Comment | Filed in Books & Authors
<3 asked:


1
As deviously as I could pull off without going over the top, I laughed. “So many people,” I paused, taking my time, “They think they can do anything they want. They think that they’re the only ones on Earth trying to do this.” My voice bellowed off the walls in echoes, the sound waves traveling around the room at lightning speed. Again I laughed, “So depressing. For them, that is.”
As most do, the man cocked his head in confusion, and before he had a chance to speak, I read his lips. “It’s always the same, too. Who are you? Where is your voice even coming from? Get away from me, freak! You know how things can get pretty boring after a while, right? So do me a favor, and let’s just skip that part.” It surprises me how well of an actor I can be. It really does. I’m not really this cool around most people, I’m usually struggling for the right words to say, but when you do things like this everyday, you get pretty good at it. Especially since a lot of times it’s dealing with people you don’t even know.
The limb I had been sitting on, which held up most of the structure of the small jewelry shop, was made of a smooth mahogany wood, and was the size of a log in the woods that had fallen from a tree. I jumped down from it, his back facing me. He turned around, probably more surprised than startled at the loud clack of my boots on the tile floor. I smirked at him, and knowingly began, “You can just empty that bag right there onto the ground, and get out of here. Or, I can handle you myself. It’s your choice.” His hand trembled as he looked down into the bag of jewelry he was regretfully grasping onto. He didn’t move, but it may have been out of shock. I pulled out a lighter from my back leather pocket, but stopped as my hand floated over the lever, “Wait a second,” I laughed innocently, pretending to have forgotten, “I don’t need this.” I placed it securely in my back pocket, put one hand on my hip, and stuck my other hand out with my palm up.
A small flame licked my fingertip, but didn’t burn it. It obviously intimidated him as it flickered in front of his now flushing face. His eyes widened. I traced a gulp slip down his throat. His lips weren’t moving at all; in fact they were frozen in a thin, straight line. “It’s your choice,” I repeated. He looked me from my head, to my toes, particularly stopping at the flames that now engulfed my finger. But again, it didn’t burn the least bit. See, you can’t really say I’m like every other human. He turned his head hesitantly, not taking his eyes off me, and called out his friend’s name.
He was now slowly walking out the entryway to an extension of the building where they stocked some of their jewelry, screaming, “What? What’s your problem, man?” He got one glance of me, and I smiled pleasantly at him. He dropped his brown ripped up sack to the ground, started heading for the exit, followed by the other man who had done the same thing. “Nice meeting you!” I shouted innocently at them.
When the front glass doors were shut and those creeps were gone, I wringed my hand out in the air to put out the flame on my fingertip. Letting out a deep breath, I ran and grabbed both bags. They were dirty and gross, but they were also full. As fast as I could, I put the expensive jewelry, made of diamonds, jewels, and thing I only dreamed of owning, back in their spots as close to perfectly, and gently shut the top of the heavy glass case they were displayed in. Luckily the men hadn’t shattered it, and nothing was broken. Entering the extension, I returned the other jewelry to where it belonged.
Carefully and quickly I grabbed my long, plaid trench coat from where I had dropped it when I walked in. It covered my leather outfit, making me look somewhat more normal. I pulled my beret from its pocket, pulled it over my head, and casually pushed open the doors that lead outside.
Dawn had long before ate its last bites of daylight and now ruled the night sky like an invading army. The second I stepped onto the sidewalk the crisp breeze tackled me; and my heels created the faintest echo full of emptiness and glowing shallowness. I tightly crossed my arms over my chest holding together either side of my trench.
It wasn’t a long walk home of crossing abandon back roads and parking lots, silent and lonely, to find my roommate sprawled across the couch, the TV loud, an empty bag of potato chips on her chest. She sprouted up when she heard the door swing open. Her hair was a mess of tangles and knots,

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what can i do with this big problem?

September 21st, 2010 by admin | 1 Comment | Filed in Friends
luring moon asked:


I started dating this guy that I meet in a friends wedding he was very nice he was the center of attention of the table where he was placed at he is not the good looking kind of man, but his attitude made him look like the coolest guy ever. After we danced and he asked me to drive him home because he was drunk I refused because I didn’t know who he really was. So I left from the party he got my number from the groom and, the bride is my friend she got mad because my phone # was given to him why? You all find out later. we started to go out after a few months we fell in love, he started talking about marriage so he bout me the most cheapest ring ever a 12k ring with a fake diamond I was not sure to get married for my luck I had found out that I was pregnant he told his hole family when I told him not to say anything, His parents wanted me to marry him right away he started making arrangements for a wedding in less then a month, so I decided not get married then I found out he had 3 kids and was divorced and he was always fighting with his x wife. I moved in with him he turned into this crazy jealous jerk he would get mad if spend time with my mom he would think that I would leave the house to go and chat online with a long time friend before I even meet him and he would just get so mad that he would insult me in front of his friends and my friends make me cry spy on me when I would go to our bedroom to see if I was really faking it and hide under the bed when I had it with a that problems I had decided to leave him he stood in front of the door so I would not leave and took my car keys I stay so he could calm down, days past and the same thing again I fainted one day in the restroom and he was so mad telling me to stop faking it, to get up I was pregnant so I was having this fainting problems he called my mom my mom came over to my house and he was telling my mom that why didn’t anybody told him that I was like that sick and well instead of him being worried he was so mad. That was solved, and now that I don’t live with him he would still insult me in front of a police officer like 5 days ago and he told me that he still loved his x wife even if she had cheated on him. Right after I started finding out that he was a real jerk to her to and that is why she cheated but he told me he was doing all that to me because of her fault I feel so bad because none of that is my fault and I ended paying her broken dishes. that he looked like a jerk in front of me and the police officer because the he was trying to be all cool with the officer he treated the officer like if he knew him but the officer put him in his spot the officer demanded respect because they did not know each other and the officer was me picking up my kids thing from my x boy friend house. well my friend the one that got mad with her husband for giving my phone number out it was because she knew the type of man this guy was she even said don’t mess up her life she’s a good girl please leave her alone even the husband then realized the same and asked him to not call me they sort off knew this was going to happen now what should I do to forget about him I still have to see him because of my son he was the most disrespectful man to me and my hole family my family loved him but now they hate him so much but I still love him and @ the same time I hate him my family found out so much about him that he would always lied about and I don’t care. People tell me don’t go back with him but I miss him but I want to forget about him I don’t really want to be with him what can I do I don’t have much friends that I can go out with so I go out by my self with my son but when I go out I tend to noticed fathers with their babies and I wish he would be there with my son but he cared more spout his other ones then my son when it was him that ripped the frank condom to get me pregnant so would stay with him and marry him to fix his economical problems I don’t know what to do please help me out what should I do for me and my son

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My husband left me and now he is back again?

September 11th, 2010 by admin | 10 Comments | Filed in Marriage & Divorce
Miri T asked:


My husband came back to me because he was angry at me naging and being cranky. I begged him to come back, and he did. He loves me but he gets very angry when I start being mean when I get my period ot I am tired. We are married fo 14 years. When he came back he bought himself a car (26K) and I guess he felt he needed it for work. I made him buy me a diamond ring (he never got me an engagemment ring) 5.5 karats (40K). I tought it will make him stay, and made me feel good. He is very attentive and he is trying very hard. I feel bad because I made him come back and now I am so angry at him for leaving me that I can’t even have sex with him. He is patient with me, but I am afraid he will leave eventually. I am trying not to be short with him but I can’t help it some times.
He also knows that I had sex with a man when he was gone, and he understands. I am going to therapy now, but I am affraid I will never get the feeling I had for him of passion . Will it ever come back?
We also put in for a divorce and I am hoping that it will feel like we are starting new, and that the old marriage is gone. He did not want to do that, he wanted the same marriage, but I feel that I want to start new.

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WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS SONG?

August 19th, 2010 by admin | 1 Comment | Filed in Rap and Hip-Hop
Luis M asked:


IS FROM THE NEW SPM THE SONG IS SWIM

[Chorus:]
I was three when my old man left in the wind
Pushed me in the ocean, turned around and said “swim”
That’s what I did even though I was scared
I kept kickin ’cause a person only floats when he’s dead

If I had one wish, It wouldn’t be wealth
It would be that if we could just love ourselves
Cause every day it’s like we kill a million dreams
and it seem everybody on different teams
I don’t mean to get deep, I’m just speakin the truth
we in a two-bed traila with a leak in the roof
I ate potatoes every way you could ever make’em
When you’re hungry gotta use your imagination
My mom did her best, she would hug and kiss me
Even though we had more fuckin mice than Disney
I still had some polo’s and plenty new draws
While she was livin life with the same tow bras
The lighting strikes like Garth say thunder rolls
Life is cold like an Eskimo in summer clothes
I suffa softly, but never let nothing stop me
And I miss my little girl like somebody shot me

[Chorus x2:]

I be prison made cross, fuck diamonds and jewels
Still flya then Jordan when he was runnin with bulls
So many shots had missed, so many cops was pissed
So many songs I have written in the past on this
It’s a lot of impostas tryda tell you the same
But how the fuck can I explain, no one knows my pain
From the cord on my navel I was G from the cradle
I don’t snort’cause they say that bitch Caine killed Abel
I’m not sure you understand it but I must express it
Santa Claus is on heroine, there ain’t no presents
And Mom all this shit makes my eyes so watery
Now I understand why you tried to win the lottery
We gon’ make it I promise, don’t let the memories haunt us
I remember we was at the bus stop in pajamas
Tryna run from a home that brought so many tears
Bad luck like we musta broke a thousand mirrors

RATED I GIVE 5 STARS TO THIS SONG
ALSO THE SONG JACKERS IN MY HOOD
I WISH I COULD LISTEN SPM’S SONGS IN THE RADIO
THAT BE GREAT BUT THE RADIO HATE

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“If it wasn’t for a woman, you wouldn’t be here.”?

July 27th, 2010 by admin | 5 Comments | Filed in 872
Ashleyyy asked:


Sure, but even if that woman’s uterus was made of gold and her eggs were actually diamonds, without a man’s sperm, a woman’s “equipment” is a veritable useless mess, and vice versa. Do people actually take these menial head-butts seriously, or are we so afraid that if we finally resolve problems like sexism, racism, etc. life will just be too dang boring to go on? I always wonder if these problems really ARE that hard to fix, yknow? Battle of the sexes, “affirmative action”, etc. Find a frickin hobby, people! Enough with the conflicts! We get it - life is dull without your drama - but it gets no one anywhere.

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